When War is The Only Thing I've Got
by LAST-Delilah
Summary: Lily Evans' life was perfect, flawless. Maybe too flawless? as she begins asking herself that same question, she realizes someone is behind it all.   What will she do when she discovers that that someone is her worst enemy and the world's most feared wiza
1. Chapter 1

When War is the Only Thing I've Got

Prologue

Throughout the years, centuries, millenniums perhaps, people have always said that good will always win over evil, that the good will always overcome all. You may call me a pessimist or emo or whatever you want, but I don't believe in that anymore. Not after everything that has happened in my life.

Maybe you'll think it impossible, but I used to be that kid, the oblivious to death, pain and everything hard that other people had in life; everything seemed to always go perfect in mine. The only downfall in my life was sister, well, her name's Petunia, and let's make clear first that she is not a witch, in the magic sense of the word, in the common muggle sense of her being horrible, well then she would be a witch. Have you ever realized in your life that a moment is too perfect to be true? Like really I'm not one of those bubbly girls that when their boyfriend kisses them, they're all like "oh my good GOD! It was so perfect!" no I'm not pathetic. At first, I thought well what's the problem with having a good life? But then I began to realize, that it was just too perfect, everyone else's families were dying or had to be in hiding along with them, and I, a muggle-born witch, the best in her year at Hogwarts, didn't need to hide her MUGGLE parents from Voldemort? And no, I was not scared of saying or writing his name.

You have to understand that little by little I began realizing, that someone was behind this, and I had to find out who and WHY he or she were doing it. That's how I came to find out, that Lord Voldemort wanted me in his ranks, on his right hand if possible, and he had thought it unwise to kill my family if he wanted me to join him. That's how he ended up killing my mom and my dad the night alter my refusal and then sent me a bouquet of flowers, which had a card saying "I will not stop until you say yes my Darling" –TMR. , TMR were his real initials, Tom Marvolo Riddle, the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort, You-Know-Who, as many had adapted by now, fearing his name already. But I would not bow down to his will, I never would.


	2. Recalling & Overcoming Obstacles in Life

Chapter 1

_Recalling and Overcoming Obstacles in My LIfe_

As I woke up, I admired the stars painted in the ceiling of my bedroom, I had so many times seen them as I had woken up, but never truly started to appreciate the beauty of the masterpiece as I should have. Much less lately, when all the world was in such a mess. The work had been done by my father, only 5 years ago, 3 years before his death, along with my mother's. My father had been not only a great artist, but a great man too, one of the best I've known until now, always thinking of how to make you laugh or smile, of what was best for others, never for him, but when a difficult situation arose, he was the one with the answer to the problem, the best solution. He always said that no solution, or answer, came without a price, and Merlin, was he right. I paid a very high price for the answer I got, for the question I had asked myself for almost a year and a half, before the accident, well if you can call that an accident, we all know it wasn't, we all know who was, who IS responsable for it.

Dear Lord, HA. I had lost all the real family that I had, in one night, for a simple answer, that if I had thought logically, I would have had it in no time, it had been right in front of my eyes for so long. The mocking, it had stopped so abruptly, the hexing only aimed at my friends, never at me, why had I not seen it? When the signs had been so clear. I was supposedly the most intelligent witch of my year, but I had not been able to figure out the simplest of puzzles.

I once admited my dispair to Professor Dumbledore, but he only replied that most of the times we asks questions or advice to others about our own lives, when we already know the answer to them, but simply don't want to admit it, or wish they weren't true, and that it is our subconscience trying to protect us, protect our hearts from the ugly truth that lies before us; and as bad as it sounds, I replied to him that I truthfully thought that was a load of BS and that I was just one of the most stupid people alive, well if not the most. I can truthfully say my self-esteem was running low that day. Let's just say...the people present at the moment whose names I shall not mention **, didn't take my self-insults or self-blaming on an event, and I quote, I "couldn't BLOODY stop it from happening even if I had been Merlin himself, because the deranged, wretched son of &*% of Lord Voldemort, wanted me by his side, and even if YOU had BLOODY known the answer before, YOU wouldn't have been able to BLOODY stop him! Unless you had BLOODY joined his ranks, which knowing you, you would die first" let's just say, they are very civilized people when they want to be, but when they don't...you better not cross their paths, your ears may be ringing for the rest of the day like mine were.

Well back to my father, God I always get so side-tracked when I'm talking - is this really talking?- to myself and my imaginary crowd...did that made me sound as weird as I think it did? Cause if it did, you truthfully must think I'm a total weirdo; well just so you know, I'm NOT! Just a little, tiny bit different from others, apart from the witch thingie, then you could consider me lost in micro-weirdo space! AND there is the proof to the side-tracked thing if you needed further more, but if you want more of that keep listening to Lily Evans' head! we are here 24/7, we also attend parties and social events!...yeahh I think I should rephrase the thing of not being such a weirdo, don't I?...

Anyways, as you may have already noticed I was very close to my father; maybe even closer to him than my mother, who was also a great woman; but my father and I, well we had a relationship, that I truthfully think that very little amount of people are lucky enough to have that kind of relationship with someone in their families, anyone for that matter. One of complete trust, and self-giving to the other person, even after I reached 'puberty' my father and I always talked about everything, and I think I was lucky that I always knew that I could go to him for advice, for everything...except guys, he specially asked for me to never talk to him about guys...what can I say, he was a jealous fellow; but for that I had my mother who I, even though wasn't my father, loved very much and trusted to the core; but like I already said, well, she wasn't my father, and after the breakdown I had with her when I was 17, our relationship was never been the same, I don't think I could have ever truly told her anything again, as sad as that may sound; and I think one of my biggest regrets was not completly forgiving her before she died.

My father was a very small amount of time home, but everytime he came, he would try to make it the most enjoyable for us all. He was the peace-maker and peace-keeper, while Petunia and I were the war creators. Petunia is my older sister, but only by a year though, she an I had been almost joined by the hip, all throughout our childhood, but the moment I received my Hogwart letter and got on that train, we became almost mortal enemies. At first, it wasn't that intense, I could see my sister was jealous, so I would talk as little as possible about Hogwarts and the magic world, but my parents were too curious and eager to find out everything, at first I rapidly changed subject, but as Petunia's dislike for me grew with the years, months, I gave up, and embraced my witchcraft completly.

My mother and I had been very close, all my life, even after I had gone to Hogwarts. When I was little I would tell her about the time boys messed with me for being redhead or for having freckles, and she would always listen and give the best advices. I always had truthfully loved my father best, but he was almost never home, and the next best thing was my mom, because Tuney, that is Petunia's childhood nickname, which she now loathed, had never had the same problems as I did. The relationship my mother and I shared was a good one, up until that fateful summer afternoon, which at first had so much like many others, but turned out to be completly and utterly different from what I had ever experienced, the fight, the shouts, the insults, it is all too hurtful for my mind to bear. After that wretched fight I packed my things left a note on my nightstand, and since I had already been 17 at the time I floo-ed over to the house, of the person I would have least expected myself to go to the former year.

The worst about it all, was that I had not regreted going away after that fight. At first, I thought I should go back, and I did, but I had seen everyone so happy without me there, it only made me much more angry with them and I had decided I wouldn't return at least not until I absolutely needed to, which was to buy my school stuff, and even then I still didn't go to sleep over to my house; at first it was anger which filled me, but at the end it had been shame, until I thought back to it all and realized that I was the victim of it all, and that I should not apologize to her, my mother, the one who had caused so much despair in my life, when she pronounced, a small amount of simple words, that I had been waiting for a long time to hear, and then had lied to my father's face saying I had gone visit a friend and was staying over, faking letters, doing as if everything was alright; at first I had the temptation to tell my father, but realized he would be forced by me to choose sides, between her wife and her daughter, not because I was insecure of his allegiances, but because it would make him uncomfortable and I loved my father too much to do that to him, and she knew it too, she knew that was the decision I would make. Even after I had returned, and had said I'm sorry for the sake of all, my mother and I both knew, for us, nothing would ever be the same, even if it seemed to be, I acted cold towards her at all times, while she acted all inoccent and like she didn't know what it was all about.


End file.
